


A Lifetime and Beyond

by Solelysanvers



Category: Sanvers - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 08:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solelysanvers/pseuds/Solelysanvers
Summary: Alex and Maggie had never stopped loving each other, no even a little bit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first time I’ve written anything, I enjoyed writing it so please be nice :) I didn’t realise how short this story was but hope it’s a good read.

6 months, 6 heartbreaking months since Alex and Maggie broke up and all Alex could feel was emptiness and darkness that she was sure would stay with her for eternity. She threw herself into work to try and block it all out but the occasional crime scene required NCPD attendance and up until today, they’d managed to avoid each other. Alex was speaking with Supergirl when she noticed Supergirl stiffen slightly and look behind where Alex was stood, she didn’t need to turn around to understand why, Maggie had arrived. Alex tried to continue her conversation but was having trouble stringing anything vaguely coherent as the sound of those boots got closer.

Maggie had to steel herself for a second, she’d successfully managed to avoid any alien related cases or was lucky to get on scene when Alex had already left but as she pulled up, she immediately saw her. She couldn’t move for a minute, she was stuck to her seat and couldn’t not stare at Alex, she felt her stomach knot and do backflips, “fuck”, Maggie thought to herself. She had also thrown herself into work, trying to block out the fact that Alex left her like everyone else did, how she promised her she would never hurt her yet Maggie felt nothing but pain. She took in a deep breath, got out of the car and, a little slower than normal, walked over to Alex. 

“Al - uhhh Agent Danvers, what have we got? Maggie stuttered, kicking herself for almost calling her Alex, she had to be professional otherwise she would fall apart.

Alex, back still to Maggie, had practically stopped breathing from the moment she knew Maggie had arrived, upon hearing her voice, Alex could of died there and then, she pulled in a huge breath, spun round and then almost fell at the sight of Maggie, who was wearing her oversized NCPD jacket, Alex couldn’t help but look at Maggie’s entire body, she looked so good, someone clearing their throat pulled Alex out of her trance.

“Hey uhhh Detective Sawyer, uhhhh, yeah we have an alien body and we need, uhhh, need you guys to help with crowd control and uhhh”, Alex couldn’t get her words out, she could feel her face getting redder and redder the more she tried to control herself. 

“Sure no problem”, Maggie somehow managed to say.

They both stood there for another few seconds, staring at each other with the saddest eyes, Alex had never been more grateful when Maggie turned around and started with the cordoning, she could feel the tears coming and didn’t want to cry in front of her.

Maggie had to turn around and do something, staring at Alex was making her chest burn, she was still completely in love with her and she is sure that those feelings will never fade. Once they had all finished and the crime scene was cleaned up, Maggie walked straight to her car without looking back, she drove straight home and sank into her couch with a bottle of scotch.


	2. Chapter 2

It was another 3 weeks before they crossed paths again, only this time, it wasn’t work related. Alex had set off for an early morning run as she can’t sleep, still unable to lay in the bed she shared with Maggie, where they’d cuddle up on their days off without a care in the world, where they would lay in the dark and tell each other their secrets and where Alex figured out that Maggie was incredible in bed. As she ran, maybe a little too fast, through the streets, she rounded the corner only to run straight into someone, but it wasn’t just someone, it was Maggie.

Maggie, as usual couldn’t sleep much longer than a couple of hours, still unable to sleep without Alex’s arms around her, holding on to her as if she was going to disappear. She decided to head out and get coffee and breakfast, walking around this early in the morning was somewhat calming, she got a few blocks from her apartment when someone slammed into her, she instinctively grabbed them to stop them both from falling, she then realised who she was touching, Alex looked just as shocked as she did, they both stood up straight and Maggie let go of Alex, although she didn’t want to, she looked Alex up and down, she was sweating and her t-shirt was sticking to her body so Maggie could see Alex’s abs, she had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying something stupid.

When Alex realised it was Maggie, she almost set off full speed running in the other direction but Maggie had her hands on her arms and she was rooted to the spot, she was taking deep breaths from running so fast but she could not get enough oxygen into her lungs because the love of her life was stood right in front of her with her hands on her and she really cannot breathe. Finally Maggie let go of her and she stood upright and took her headphones out of her ears.

“Oh my god Maggie I’m so sorry, are you ok?”, she managed to get out, resisting the urge to touch her.

“It’s ok Alex, I’m fine, are you ok?, Maggie spluttered.

“What? Yeah I’m fine, I’m really sorry, I was running way too fast and wasn’t concentrating”, Alex rubbed her hand on her neck to keep from embarrassing herself even more.

“Alex, it’s ok, stop apologising, why are you out so early?”, Maggie was secretly hoping it was the same reason she was out so early, she shook off that thought quickly though as she didn’t want to still be in love with Alex, she wanted to not love her with her entire being, she wanted to be able to move on because Alex hurt her, real bad and she wasn’t sure if she’ll ever recover from it and going back down that road would hurt even more.

“I uhhhh, don’t sleep much these days, uhhhh, ever since -“ Alex stopped before anything else came out of her mouth because she knew that she hurt Maggie in ways she promised she never would and Alex feels like she shouldn’t be hurting as much as she does, after all she broke it off, she ended things, why should she feel this horrible pain and there was no way she was going to say what she was going to say to Maggie in case it hurts her even more.

Maggie felt like someone had sucked all of the air from the universe, she couldn’t breathe, Alex was feeling exactly how Maggie was feeling still, even after nearly 7 months apart, she controlled her breathing rather quickly and tried to think of something to say other than, “I miss you so much, I still love you, please come home with me”. Maggie knew she had to be strong, she couldn’t go back to that, she couldn’t get hurt by Alex again, it caused her to fall into a pit of despair the first time, if it happened again she was sure it would actually kill her.

“I know”, was all that Maggie could manage to say, trying to hold back the tears that she could feel about to flood down her face.

Alex looked slightly shocked by that admission, Maggie was still hurting, she had hoped that she had somewhat healed after what happened but those two words almost knocked Alex off her feet. She was trying not to cry but the tears were about to come, she had to get away as fast as possible, she put her headphones back in, tried to say goodbye but the words wouldn’t come so she nodded towards Maggie, who nodded back, and she set off at a ridiculous running pace and ran straight back to her apartment where she stripped off, laid on her bed and sobbed into the orange hello sunshine shirt that Maggie wore the morning after that night, the night that Alex definitely knew she was gay and was falling hard for Maggie.


	3. Chapter 3

Maggie packed a bag and left for some sun, she had to get away. Seeing Alex around National City every once in a while was slowly killing her, after their literal run in the other day, Maggie could barely breathe. As she stepped off the plane in Miami, she immediately relaxed, letting the sun hit her face. She made her way to her hotel, which was quite fancy if she did say so herself, there was a complimentary mini bar which she fully intended to use, a shower that was so big you could have a party in there, "or just her and Alex" she thought to herself, immediately shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts, to get rid of the thought of Alex completely, this trip she was going to completely forget that Alex Danvers existed, or she was going to try to at least. Maggie saw the huge bed, she had to jump on as it was too high for the tiny cop, she chuckled to herself as she flopped into the middle of the bed, the first time in a long time she smiled without having to hide her pain.

Maggie changed into some black shorts and a black bikini top to match, grabbed her towel, put a couple of beers and a bottle of water from the mini bar into her bag and headed down to the beach. She laid out her towel on the hot sand and collapsed onto it, thankful her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the blazing sun. She applied some sunscreen, opened one of her beers, put her headphones in and lay there for hours. Maggie woke with a start when a stray frisbee hit her leg, a small boy running over to grab it, shouting sorry as he ran away. She must have been asleep for a good couple of hours as she was now sweating and her throat was dry, she took a huge swig of her beer and decided to take a dip in the sea to cool off, she did not expect it to be as cold as it was, stopping her in her tracks for a second before she submerged herself. The sun was beginning to set, satisfied she had spent long enough at the beach, Maggie gathered her things and slowly walked back to her room. 

Maggie immediately stripped off and jumped in the enormous shower, washing off the sand and salt water, trying to think of anything but Alex being in there with her, she closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and spoke out loud, "Sawyer, you have to get over her, she ended it, it's not you, you have to move on, no more thinking of Alex Danvers, you will be happy again", she repeated this a couple of times, saying it louder and louder as she went, almost shouting by the time she realised what she was doing, it did not help get rid of the knotting pain in her stomach.

She threw on her favourite t-shirt and ordered room service before settling herself in her bed to watch a film. Maggie decided that The Notebook was the best film to watch, when secretly she always imagined that’s how her and Alex would reunite, there she goes again, thinking of Alex, "fucccccckkkk", she grumbled. Her food arrived and she ate it rather quickly, impressing herself that she actually managed to finish a meal, eating hadn't been her main priority during the last 7 months, she mentally told herself off for that. By the end of the film, Maggie was crying so hard that she couldn't see straight and again she couldn’t breathe. She had to do something, she had to see Alex, even though she had only been in Miami 14 hours, she desperately missed being in the same city as Alex, the possibility of bumping into her at any time, as much as it hurt to see her, be near her, she always felt a calming feeling knowing Alex was somewhere in the city. She had to speak to Alex, Maggie was sure that when they saw each other at the crime scene, Alex was checking her out, and heard the noise Alex made when she realised it was Maggie she had bumped into, she had to know how Alex was feeling, if she still loved her or not, if she had moved on with someone else, before she even realised what she was doing, Maggie jumped out of bed, threw her stuff into her bag, was dressed and was headed to the airport, she had to see Alex now.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex decided to leave work on time for the first time in months, for some reason the entire day was spent thinking about Maggie, she’s not sure where those thoughts came from but she couldn’t stop herself, the memories were constantly putting her on the edge of crying so when it was the end of her day Alex practically ran out the door and sped home. She allowed herself to cry whilst having a shower but pulled herself together, ordered pizza and flopped onto the couch with a beer in hand and turned on the tv, although she wasn’t really watching, she still couldn’t stop thinking about Maggie, the tears began to fall again.

A knock on her window brought Alex out of a trance, she turned around to see Supergirl floating outside. Alex hesitated for a second but eventually let her in.

“Alex are you crying?”, Kara said, sounding concerned.

“I… uhhhh, yeah”, was all Alex could say.

“What’s going on? You’ve been so closed off since Ma- since you know but these last few weeks I’ve barely seen or spoken to you unless it’s about work, please just talk to me”, Kara was on the verge of crying herself.

Again Alex hesitated for a minute but seeing the look on kara’s face made her feel awful.

“Ever since me and Maggie split, I’ve felt nothing but pain”, Alex managed to stutter. “I can’t sleep in our- my bed without her, I can’t eat properly, I can’t breathe without her Kara and I don’t know what to do”, the tears were heavily flowing from both Alex and Kara now. 

Kara grabbed Alex and hugged her tight, using her strength to hold onto her when Alex protested slightly, after a few seconds Alex wrapped her arms around Kara and they both lowered to the floor, Alex struggling for air as she tried to choke back sobs. 

“Shhh shhh Alex it’s ok, please try to relax, breathe slowly”, Kara spoke softly hoping it would soothe Alex, gently rocking her back and forth, they stayed there for another 15 minutes before Alex finally got her breathing and tears under control.

“I’m sorry Kara, I just miss her so much, I made the biggest mistake of my life letting Maggie go and now I have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life. How am I ever going to get over her? She was… is the love of my life”, Alex spoke more calmly than before.

“Ohhh Alex, you don’t need to apologise, I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, tell me how to help you”, Kara was still holding Alex in her arms, refusing to look at her face because she knew she would breakdown if she did.

“I just… I don’t know how to survive without her, she is the reason I am who I am today, she helped me accept myself when I was struggling with being gay, then she loved me as hard as she could and I let her go, and why because I want kids and she doesn’t? How stupid is that, we didn’t even talk about it, I just ended it without there being a conversation because I want to be a mom and she doesn’t”, Alex was now talking clearly and managed to wriggle from kara’s arms to sit up right, she was actually quite shocked to see that Kara had been crying.

“I’m not saying I don’t want kids but I want Maggie more, I can’t stand her not being in my life, in my arms, not being able to call her mine, if it means no kids then I’d get over it somehow but I will never get over not having Maggie”, Alex was slightly shocked by the no kids admission but it immediately felt right, she was positive she could let go of having kids if Maggie came back to her. 

“Alex I know you love Maggie with everything you have but are you sure you would give up your dream of having kids to get Maggie back?”, Kara asked.

“Kara I only ever pictured having kids with Maggie, I don’t think I could ever fall in love with anyone else let alone think of having kids with them. I’ve realised since we split that I would give anything to have her back, even giving up the idea of having kids because Maggie was enough, I didn’t think she was at first, I’d always dreamed of having kids and when Maggie said she didn’t want them I ended it because I wanted more, it’s taken me this long to realise that Maggie is enough, she’s all I’ve ever wanted and all I’ll ever want”, Alex replied.

“Wow, Alex, I knew you guys were in love but I didn’t realise just how deep this was”, Kara’s heart soared for a second at the thought of her sister being so happy but that feeling soon disappeared because she knows Alex ruined things, how would Maggie ever forgive Alex for what she did.

After a few moments silence, Kara shifted to sit next to Alex and put her arm around her.

“So, are you going to call her and tell her what you’ve just told me?”, Kara said tentatively.

Alex thought for a moment.

“I can’t. Kara I promised her that I would never leave her, never hurt her like everyone else did and then I did exactly that, she will never forgive me”, Alex said as she choked back more tears.

“Alex I saw the way she looked at you at that crime scene last month and from what you told me when you ran into her in the street, I would say she still has feelings for you, you have to talk to her, even if it’s to see where her head is at, if she’s moved on then you have to move on too but if there’s a slight chance that she still in love with you, wouldn’t you want to know?”, Kara was almost pleading with her sister.

“I… I… yeah of course I would want to know but Kara, what if she has moved on, what if she calls someone else babe now?”, Alex shook her head hard to try and get that thought out of head.

“Then I’ll be here to help you get through it”, Kara said softly. 

Alex wrapped her arms around her again and whispered thank you, Kara rested her head on Alex’s and they stayed there for a while. 

Alex was startled when Kara tensed, she immediately sat upright and shifted into fight mode, thinking an alien was about to break through her apartment but when she looked at kara’s face, Kara was half smiling, Alex wasn’t sure what to do.

“What’s going on Kara? Why did you tense? What’s that face you’re making?”, Alex half shouted at her.

“Uhhhh… nothing, just uhhhh, I’m gonna go”, Kara was already stood by the window.

“What? Why? What’s going on?”, Alex demanded.

“Just trust me ok when I say that there’s going to be a knock on your door in a few seconds and you’re going to want to answer it”, Kara said through a huge grin.

Alex was so confused, why is Kara being so weird? Before she had time to react, Kara had jumped out of the window and there was a knock at the door, Alex just stared for a second, still confused by kara’s actions. She slowly walked over to the door, still wondering why Kara acted like that, obviously Kara heard footsteps and whoever’s it was heartbeat before anyone else so she knew who was coming into the building, Alex felt annoyed that she couldn’t do that. She eventually opened the door and immediately grabbed the frame to stop herself from falling, it was Maggie.


	5. Chapter 5

Maggie slowly made her way up the stairs to Alex’s apartment, the words she planned to say spinning in her head. She was scared, scared that Alex had moved on, scared that someone who wasn’t Alex would answer the door, be wearing a t-shirt Maggie used to wear, she was sure she would punch that person if that happened. She gets to Alex’s door and hesitate for a few seconds, then she knocks, maybe a little too hard. As Alex opens the door, Maggie notices her grab the frame, this makes her stomach flip, she knows she stills affects Alex.

“Hey Danvers, uhhhh can I come in? We need to talk”, Maggie says, wrapping her arms around her waist, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

Alex just stares at Maggie for a few seconds, not sure if she’s dreaming or not.

“Ye… Yeah sure, is everything ok?, Alex stumbles out her reply.

Maggie walks in and is greeted by that familiar smell, the smell of alex, one she had missed so much. She isn’t sure if she should sit on the couch or just stand in the middle of the room, she wanders around but decides standing is best in case Alex has moved on and she needs to escape quickly. Alex closes the door but stays on the spot, not sure what to do but she is scared.

“So… how have you been?, Maggie starts with, not quite ready to get serious.

“Uhhh, you know, ok I guess, what about you?”, again Alex is a bit confused as to where this is going.

“Uhhhh, you know, ok I guess too”, maggie reply’s.

They stand in an awkward silence for far longer than either of them cared for.

“Maggie, what are you doing here?,” Alex asked, not sure she’s ready for the response.

“Uhhh, I went to Miami this morning, and I felt weird, uhhhh…”, Maggie couldn’t get her words out.

“You were in Miami??”, Alex questions, she’d never heard of Maggie taking a holiday.

“Yeah, I needed some space, to think about stuff. Look Alex when I was there, all I could think about was you, you’re just there, all the time, I can’t stop”, the words just fell out of Maggie’s mouth, which shocked her a little. They didn’t shock her as much as Alex though as she choked back a sound that made Maggie’s knees shake.

“Maggie what are you saying?”, Alex stammered, concentrating on her breathing and just keeping herself from falling over, in Alex’s mind all she was thinking was, oh my god, she’s here to say she still loves me and she wants to try again, Alex’s stomach is doing somersaults.

“I’m saying that I miss you so much it hurts. I can’t breathe without you Alex, breaking up was a big mistake, I know you know it, I know you want to be a mom and I completely trashed your dream, not even considering how you felt and we didn’t even talk about it, like would there ever be a point that we got to where we could both be ready for it because you’re the only woman who could actually make me want to have a family Alex, all of it, the picket fence, the dog, kids, that’s all you, I would do anything for you”, Maggie had now started crying, choking back sobs as she talked.

Alex had also started crying, she couldn’t believe Maggie was saying all of this, she stood there for a minute, digesting what is happening, finally the words came to her.

“Maggie, I don’t know what to say… uhhhh, Kara was here just before you and uhhhh, we were talking and I told her that if having you in my life again meant no kids, then so be it, Maggie I have had the worst 7 months, I cant sleep in our bed still, it’s too painful but what I did to you, promising to never hurt you and then doing just that, it’s not forgivable, I don’t know why you’re even talking to me right now, I have realised that you’re enough for me, you’re everything I could ever want and more, you are the love of my life Maggie”, Alex had moved closer to Maggie now, still far enough away to not make it awkward.

“Yes, you hurt me Alex, more than I’ve ever been hurt before, we were going to get married and then you just ended it, I never thought I would forgive you but I can’t not be with you, I am so in love with you and nothing will change that, you are my everything”, Maggie noticed Alex had come a bit closer so she closed the gap between them, they were stood so close that all Maggie had to do was raise her head and her and Alex would finally kiss again, she didn’t move though, waiting for Alex to say something.

Alex had now completely fallen apart, she could feel Maggie’s breathe on her and she had never been more grateful in her life for it. She closed her eyes and placed her forehead on Maggie’s and her hands on Maggie’s arms.

“I love you Maggie Sawyer”, Alex whispered.

“I love you Alex Danvers”, Maggie whispered back.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Maggie spoke softly.

“I’m going to kiss you now Dan-“

Before Maggie could finish her sentence Alex pushed her lips to Maggie’s, slow at first but once they realised that they were actually kissing each other again, they kissed with more force than they ever did, grabbing at each other trying to get as close as they could to one another. After a couple of minutes, they both pulled away to finally take a breath, Alex and Maggie stared into each other’s eyes and Alex pulled Maggie into a tight hug, promising to herself to never let her go again.

“Alex, how do you want to do this? I think we should take it slow, get to know each other again before jumping straight into bed”, Maggie said, slightly disappointed in herself for actually saying that she wanted to take it slow when all she wanted to do was rip Alex’s clothes off there and then.

“Uhhh yeah sure ok that’s cool with me”, it was not cool with Alex, she wanted to make up for lost time between them. When she looked into Maggie’s eyes she could tell that that was what she wanted too but she had to respect Maggie, if she wanted to start slow and build her trust for Alex back then she can wait a while, she hoped she could anyway.

As Alex took a step backwards, Maggie grabbed her wrist, looked into her eyes with nothing but pure desire and slammed their bodies together again, kissing with more passion this time, it wasn’t long before clothes were being thrown everywhere.

The next morning, Alex awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs. For a minute she was very confused, who was in her apartment making breakfast? Then she remembered, Maggie. Alex almost fell off the bed, she jumped up so fast, she had to make sure she wasn’t dreaming and that it really was Maggie, back in her apartment, making breakfast for them both, she practically ran to the kitchen but was stopped dead in her tracks, there she was, making coffee and breakfast, humming along to her music, then Alex saw what she was wearing and made a noise she’d never heard before, Maggie had on the orange hello sunshine t-shirt she wore the morning after their first night together, Alex almost cried. Maggie noticed Alex staring at her and gave her the biggest smile she could, Alex slowly wandered over to her and wrapped her arms around Maggie’s waist as she continued to cook. Both of them let out a contented sigh.

Everything was perfect again.


End file.
